Ms. to Mrs. – An Emotional Journey To Changing My Name

What’s in a name?  When you think about it as it relates to you, you will probably come up with a pretty big list.  My maiden name was Wright, I was Amy Wright. It rolled off the tongue and that’s what everyone called me, my full name.  I spent 35 wonderful years as Amy Wright, I accomplished a lot with that name.  I graduated college, bought a home, bought a car, obtained several financial licenses. Then, I met a wonderful man, all as Amy Wright.  It was my identity, my own brand and no one could take that away from me…well maybe someone.  

I prided myself as being a strong independent woman, I figured out a lot of life’s great secrets on my own, without the help of a man and for the longest time I thought that no man, no matter how wonderful he was, would get me to change my last name. But I was wrong (and so happy I was wrong).  I met Mike when I was 32,  at that time I believed I had a strong grasp on my ideals and values.  

When things began to get serious between us we talked about marriage, a future, where we wanted to live, and changing my name. In a split second I threw all my preconceived ideas out the window and said yes, I would change my name.  I didn’t even bat an eye, I loved this man and taking his name seemed very logical and it truly was something I wanted to do.  I had no idea that the actual act of changing my name would be as emotional as it was.

Ms. to Mrs. – An Emotional Journey To Changing My Name

We got married in May and changing my name was not even something I thought about putting on my to do list, it was a far off distant thing I had to get done eventually.  Well eventually came very quickly as Mike came home from work and let me know that he added me to his health insurance, home insurance, and as a financial beneficiary on his 401K, all as Amy Kraynak.  I simply said “Well, I’m still Amy Wright” and he said “Well, then you need to change your name”.  I was a bit shocked at this statement, I wasn’t prepared to do that.

Even though I knew I would change my name I never had a timeline in mind for doing it.  I needed time to prepare and figure out how to accomplish this task. To be honest, I didn’t know where to start, so I simply made a list of all the places that required me to change my name.

I managed to delay the actual name change a month longer and finally took the plunge and changed my name.  The actual process was quick, however it was rather sad to me and it felt as if I lost a little bit of myself.  As I stood at the Social Security Office, the woman collected my money and stamped my sheet of paper and changed my name instantly. And just like that, Amy Wright was gone.  I don’t know if I was expecting there to be a somber ceremony or sad music playing, but I felt like I needed to pay tribute to Amy Wright.  

To be honest, I actually cried a little.

These weren’t tears of sadness to be Amy Kraynak, I was excited to be married and take Mike’s name.  The tears were tears of sadness for Amy Wright, as she was technically gone and no one really cared.  I was physically here and was the exact same person I was an hour before, but something felt different.  There was an odd void that I couldn’t explain to anyone, but I could feel it.  From that moment on no one would ever meet Amy Wright ever again. Amy Wright would never hear the jokes about being “Amy Wrong” or “Mrs. Right” or never being wrong.

There would be people in the world who would never know her or know about all her great accomplishments. They would assume Amy Kraynak accomplished all of those things. They would never know how hard she worked to buy her first car or home. Also, they would never know how hard she studied to obtain her financial licenses.  It would also mean the end of the Wright name for my family.  My parents had two girls, both married, so the name will not live on and it kind of felt sad.

I was truly attached to my name, plain and simple, I spent 35 years with that name, everyday.

 I spent time perfecting that signature and boy was it a great one. For goodness sake I had a lifetime of monogrammed jewelry and bags and license plates with that name or initials on them.  The name was with me through my greatest accomplishments and my greatest defeats and I felt sad to say goodbye.  

It’s been a little over two years since I changed my name. Still, I miss my old name, in fact I still get confused and write or give my maiden name to people sometimes.  I’m sure it’s something that will always happens to me and I will always have these feelings. I do look at the positive things my name change brought into my life. It includes a wonderful man, a heightened sense of adventure and travel, and a clearer picture on my future.

And my favorite, I’ve moved up in line for alphabetic order.  Change is good yet change is difficult for me.  I’m learning day by day that change can enhance your life in so many ways.  In fact I don’t know if Amy Wright would have ever started a blog. I give full credit to Amy Kraynak!

I’d love to hear your perspective on changing your name when you get married. Did you do it? Did you keep your maiden name?  I find the reasons for the decisions fascinating and would love to hear about your story.

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