I Don’t Have Mom Friends

I Don’t Have Mom Friends

Hello friends.  I’ll cut to the chase with today’s topic, it’s about Mom Friends.  I’m letting you all in on a big secret…I don’t have mom friends.  Shocking right?  Mom friends are new for me and it’s been something that has been on my mind since the day Lizzie arrived.   I don’t know when I’ll find mom friends and I’m ok with that.  

There is a ton of pressure when you become a new mom.  There is advice and opinions about everything out there.  How you should feel, how you shouldn’t feel, and my favorite topic is your mom tribe aka mom friends.  Can you sense my sarcasm here? 

I can’t tell you how many articles, blog posts and Instagram posts there are about finding your mom tribe and loving them.  Picture after picture is out there with moms drinking wine while their babies play and enjoying this carefree lifestyle.  It’s actually impossible to ignore and it’s hard to comprehend because I don’t have mom friends.

In some way it’s a bit isolating and it reminds me how out of touch with reality social media can be.  Being a new mom at home with a sleepy baby means I had a ton of time on my hands and did a lot of scrolling through social media.  Which was a bad idea, I repeat bad idea!

 

Friends 

Let me clarify a couple things, I have friends that are mom’s and they are some of the best.  But let’s be honest. Their kids are almost 10 years older than mine and the baby stage is a far distant memory for them. 

They also don’t live by me.  Many live in other states and some in the burbs.  All of our schedules are packed so finding time to talk and hang out is challenging.  And when the baby arrived a lot of them were busy and it was difficult for them to come and visit.  It can be extremely isolating to be a new mom.

I also have a bunch of friends who don’t have babies.  My social circle is made of a whole group of women who are older, younger and in different life stages.  It is what makes our relationships unique and special.

 

Time 

Time is a commodity and to me it is an incredibly valuable commodity.  If I break down my day, I spend 7 hours sleeping, 10 hours at work including commuting, 4 hours with Lizzie during the week and then I have 3 hours left over.  In those three hours I want to spend time with Mike and take care of all the non-glamorous things in life.   

Right now allocating my time to anything else isn’t going to happen.  I want to live in the moment and enjoy this stage of life.  This period of time, like all periods of time, is temporary.  I want to enjoy every second of it.  

 

Unrealistic Expectations

When your baby comes out he or she doesn’t come with friends.  In fact it’s the exact opposite.  You feel a bit isolated and people may not be knocking down your door to come over.  It’s a delicate balance of coming to see a new baby and wanting to give people space.   You also aren’t going to have new moms knocking on your door to come out and play 🙂  It’s a time to figure things out and see how to handle a baby and then head out into the world.   

I know it will eventually come and if it doesn’t, I’m ok with that too.  My tribe is made up of people from all walks of life.  Friends from when I was 12, high school friends, college friends, life friends, old co-workers and a few neighborhood friends.  Not having defined mom-friends doesn’t make my tribe any less special.  It just means there is room to grow.

If you are looking for more mom topics visit the Motherhood Section of my blog here.