Hello ladies and Hello Summer!! Are you all loving this amazing weather or what? Before we go any further I want to make sure you see my What To Wear To a Wedding post that went up earlier this week. It is packed with tons of options for dresses, purses, shoes, jewelry and FAQ’s on commonly asked questions. Don’t forget to check it out as well as my Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest pages. Speaking of weddings, do any of you feel like everyone is getting married except you? There was a long stretch of time in my life where I felt like this. I mean, I got married later in life at 35, so it was bound to happen.
I see people in their early thirties (or late twenties) on the “wedding circuit.” You know the person. They spend weekend after weekend going to weddings and all the events that come along with it, and it kind of makes me tired. But it also reminds me of a time in my life when that is all I did. You know the movie 27 Dresses? Well that was me, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. And I admit it was hard, like really hard! It was hard to see everyone fall in love, get married and start a new chapter in their life while my life felt like it was standing still. It felt like everyone was getting married, except me.
True story, I attended more weddings alone than I did with a date. And yes, sometimes it was hard to do, but I did it. Looking back they actually turned out to all be great weddings and I probably stressed way t0o much about being alone. I got to dress up (what girl doesn’t love to do that), dance my heart out and eat and drink my way to a very happy night. To be honest, I actually forgot what I was stressed about in the first place. It was like everyone is getting married…and I was having a great time at their weddings.
What I do remember is the feelings I felt when my friends started to get engaged. When my best friend got engaged I was devastated, I actually cried hysterically (in fact she may not even know this) to my mom. I was beyond happy for her and her husband to be, but I was sad. It was the end of a era, an era that was filled with the two of us hanging out till 4am and brunching on the weekends. It wasn’t a jealous feeling (being jealous means you have envy of someone achievements and that wasn’t the case) it was more of a feeling that my life wasn’t moving forward in any way shape or form.
From there it snowballed and my entire group of friends were getting married within the next year and a half. I kept feeling that everyone is getting married, except me. As the phone calls were rolling in and the weddings kept coming I kept feeling like my life wasn’t moving forward. In a blink of the eye everyone is getting married and I was the only single gal left standing. Each time the feeling was the same. Pure excitement for my friend and then a pit in my stomach that was uncontrollable. And then there was the constant feeling that my life wasn’t moving forward.
But my life was moving forward, it was just a different forward than everyone else. Finding a husband at 27, 28 or 29 wasn’t a priority for me. In fact, it wasn’t even on my radar, and that’s ok. I’ve always been an independent, figure-it-out-myself type of gal and I put a huge focus on other life achievements in my younger years. Owning a home, paying off my student loans and advancing in my career were priorities for me and what I spent a ton of time on. When I got older and finally achieved my previous goals, finding the one became a priority for me.
I don’t have the magic formula for how to make finding someone a priority, but I did receive TONS of unsolicited advice about how to find a husband. I could tell you so many stories, but I will spare you and simply share the best pieces of advice that I received.
Turn Your Cab Light On
I know everyone uses Uber these days, but hear me out on this one 🙂 I always thought I would meet someone out and about at grocery store or downtown. The reality was that I was never going to meet someone organically like that because “my cab light was off.”
To my own fault, I focus on whatever task I’m doing. If I’m grocery shopping, I am in the zone efficiently checking off my list and getting what I need to get and am in and out of the store quickly. If I’m out with my girls for drinks, I focus on them and the conversation. I don’t have a wandering eye, I’m in the zone in everything I do. In other words, my cab light is off. It appeared that I wasn’t interested in meeting someone new. Turn that cab light on and be aware of your surroundings and keep your eyes open.
Prioritize Your Life Timeline
If truly finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is a priority for you, then take control of it and go out there and find someone. Sign up for a dating app or spread the word amongst friends and family. I know when I was single everyone and their brother was setting me up with someone. If finding someone isn’t that big of a deal to you then don’t sweat it and let it happen when it happens.
Be Active and Get Out There
If the online thing isn’t for you, that’s ok, because there are plenty of ways to meet people. Join a neighborhood organization, take a wine tasting class, or join a sports club. Whatever it is, find something you love and join a group. Having a common interest is one of the greatest bonds for a great relationship.
And the best piece of advice I can give you is….
Stay Patient and Trust the Journey
I’m a huge believer in everything happens for a reason. I know, it’s that stupid advice you hear when things don’t go your way, but it’s the truth. I truly believe if Mike and I met when I was younger it probably wouldn’t have worked out. We actually attended the same Halloween Party in 2008 but our paths didn’t cross. It was 4 years later that we met again, which was perfect age for me (I was 32!).
I’ll be the first to tell you that you control your destiny and only you have the power to make things happen. I also know that you don’t have an expiration date. You won’t die if you aren’t married or seriously dating someone by a certain age, trust me that this is a fact! Everything in life is temporary unless you decide to make it permanent. You have a choice to find someone with whom to spend the rest of your life. While good things do take time to find, you can find it! Everyone is getting married, and you will too!
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