Friends, sometimes you can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them. I’ve been reading a ton of articles about making friends as you get older and it got me thinking about my friends. I’m definitely a quality over quantity person when it comes to my friends. I much rather have a few close friends then 25 fair-weathered friends. I’ve always been like that. I’m pretty selective when it comes to friends as I want to make sure they are perfect, like a great heel :). You can have as many or as little friends as you want, but I believe you need to have at least 5 different types of friends.
The Older or Younger Friend
Depending on your age, it’s good to have at least one friend that is older and younger then you. I’m not talking like a couple years difference, I’m talking like 10 or 15 years difference. Having friends in a broad age range will make you a well-rounded person. Having an older friend will allow you to ask for advice and learn from someone who has been around the block a few times. And vice versa with having a younger friend. Not only can you mentor them, but you can also keep up to date with current fashion trends, technology and hot places to eat and drink. I’m not terribly old at 38, but having a friend or two around 30 keeps my pulse on the youth and allows me to not turn into an old curmudgeon.
The Career-Focused Friend
The friend that literally loves her job and loves working. This girl is focused on succeeding in life and work is her way to do that. She is a true workaholic, gets in early and leaves late. She loves to network and can probably connect you to Kevin Bacon somehow. She is determined to make it to the top and will give you pointers along the way. She is great for asking advice on how to get a raise or promotion and will have a thoughtful response for any work related question you will have. This girl lives, eats and breaths work, so take her out for a drink or two, get some career advice from her and let her have fun for one night.
The K-12 Friend
This girl knew you before you knew yourself. She is the girl you met in second grade and remained friends with well into your 20’s or 40’s. Or maybe you met her in junior high or high school. What defines this friendship is that you met her and went through many of life’s firsts with her. She was there when you had your first kiss, when you first got your monthly visitor and when you had your first date. And as you got older she was there when you got engaged, got married and had a baby.
This friend knows things about you that maybe only your mother knows. She will remind you of where you came from and where you belong. But she will also remind you how far you’ve come in life. Change is inevitable and this girl has been along for the ride the whole time. She has seen you grown and evolve and is in it for the long haul. She is also there to remind you how bad your hair looked in high school 🙂
The Down to Earth, Common Sense Friend
I bet you’re thinking “I am the common sense friend, I don’t need another one.” Chances are you’re not the common sense friend then 🙂 This friend is the one that has thoughtful advice in high-anxiety times. She is the one that remains calm and figures out a way to approach the situation at hand. She is probably the one you turn to for advice when the going gets tough. She won’t always agree with you, but that’s the point, you need someone who can see clearly and put you in your place when you need to be.
The Post College Friend
Making friends after your graduate from school is kind of hard. Well, not hard, just more work. When you are in school you are bound with people and easily form connections based on classes and activities. When you graduate college you aren’t all corralled into groups all the time, your schedule is more free. Seeking out friendships is just more work in this stage. Making your first post college friend (or adult friend) is so important.
This friend will have most likely had different experiences and upbringing then you. It could be a neighbor that you meet in your first apartment or a friend of a friend who came out for happy hour. Making that connection outside of your core group of friends is important. It will expand your network and your mind. I met my first post college friend through my junior high friend’s college friend…you tracking that? We went out one night in Chicago and 16 years later we are still friends!
Do you have all five of these friends in your life? What kind of friend are you? Let me know in the comments below! I have one of each which made this piece so easy to write!
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